Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Honorable Mention Mascot

You know how I know your football team blows? Because blow is the only thing that will get you up for gameday. Unlike the Frog Faithful who still get that natural high from the moment ESPN Gameday starts to well into the night after the game. But, whatever works for you, as long as you show up to the game so I can talk mad shit to you pink polo button down wearing frat pussies.

I was wondering about AB status for the game. Also does anyone think Jackson will see a series or two against Smew

I LOVE the Death Penalty!!

No not THAT one. It's officially been 20 years since the NCAA gave those dastardly ponies what they deserved and disbanded the football team for the 1987 season, thus affirming TCUs rightly status as the only dominant collegiate athletic program in the Metroplex. Breathe in deeply? Smell that? That's the smell of self satisfaction. Just don't breathe in too deeply this weekend as you don't want to catch any SMU brought foreign substances in the ole nasal cavity.

Anecdote: An older friend of mine was telling me that while he was living in Milton, he walked into the bathroom one night and saw a kid kneeling in front of the toilet. Assuming he was getting sick, he started to walk out when he heard loud sniffing. Upon second glance, he noted that the kid was snorting coke off of the toilet seat. This was during SMU weekend. The kid was wearing an SMU shirt. If you look up "rock bottom" in the dictionary, I'm pretty sure it would outline this situation.

SMU: So low, they have to snort coke off of the filthiest toilets in the greater D/FW area. That's where I want to go to school.

That's not to mention all of the negative things we coulld could say about THEM doing drugs off or OUR toilets.

Returning, let's take a look at Wikipedia's detailed outlining of just exactly what happened to the SMU football team during that fateful season.

SMU football had already been placed on three years' probation in 1985, but in 1986 faced allegations that players were being paid. The alleged violations were: 21 players allegedly received approximately $61,000 in cash payments, with the assistance of athletics department staff members, from funds provided by a booster. Payments ranged from $50 to $725 per month and occurred while SMU was on probation. Also, SMU officials lied to NCAA officials about when the payments stopped.

As a result:

The 1987 season was cancelled.

All home games in 1988 were cancelled, but SMU was allowed to play their seven regularly scheduled away games so that other institutions would not be financially affected.

  • SMU was banned from bowl games and television in 1988 and 1989.
  • The team's existing probation was extended two more years, to 1990.
  • SMU lost 55 new scholarship positions over 4 years.
  • The team was only allowed to hire five full-time assistant coaches, instead of the typical nine.
  • The infractions committee cited the need to "eliminate a program that was built on a legacy of wrongdoing, deceit and rule violations" as a factor in what is still the harshest penalty ever meted out to any major collegiate program. It also cited SMU's past history of violations; at the time SMU had been on probation seven times, more than any other school.
  • All recruits and players were allowed to transfer without losing eligibility, and most did so. New coach Forrest Gregg was left with an underweight lineup made up mostly of freshmen. As a result, SMU canceled the 1988 season as well, claiming it was unable to field a competitive team.

In a related study, those UT football players sure are some rambunctuous brutes, no? Kevin Sherrington of DMN elaborates.


SMU Mascot

Not since the Secret Service heard W wants to go to the Iraq Red Zone has a government agency been busier than the Fort Worth DEA is this week as it tries to prepare for the influx of hard core narcotics that inevitably accompany SMU's visit to Fort Worth. Yes, SMU Hate Week is officially underway and in honor of such, I propose we designate a mascot, icon, etc to serve as a physical symbol of all the reasons we hate SMU. I'm up for other suggestions, but at present time I've selected the following two:

A) Spencer with beard ..........................B) Spencer without beard

Pony Up!

They are right about one thing, our cheerleaders are fugly.

Montage of the Day