Thursday, December 27, 2007

Lord, Give Me McDonalds, er, Strength

If by Jesus you mean cheeseburgers, then it looks like faith really does heal all

There was yet another article in the S-T this week about Blake's "mysterious illness," this one focusing on how faith helped him get persevere and finish out the season. Possibly information we could've used a lot earlier, because If I'd known that all it took was a little Jesusin', I'd have stayed in a few Saturdays and hit up the temple bright and early if it meant we'd beat Wyoming, let alone Texas.

I think the most ridiculous thing about this article is that it mentions he was up to 290 pounds in the season finale against San Diego State... which is 40 pounds over his normal playing weight. I know depression can lead to over-eating, but good lord! How much Marble Slab do you have to eat to gain that much weight in 3 months? If that's his only food weakness, then my dietary habits lead me to believe that my heart will begin to resemble the consistency of a slab of bacon and my aortas will be pumping out pure Ben and Jerrys by the time I'm 30.

The greatest part of this weight gain, though? He still had a sack in that game! I'm not sure if this attests to the fact that Blake still has all of his talent, or that SDSUs QB was just that slow. Regardless, now having lost 15 pounds, all signs point to Blake having a nice game against the imfamous Cougar High GPA Warriors.

Keep it up and good luck with the NFL, TB.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Smoo Rumor...

The head coaching job at SMU has been vacant since October 28th- meaning their search is just ten days short of reaching two months, which is an eternity for this sort of thing. Who wouldn't want to take that program over? They've done nothing but lose for the better part of two decades, and their fans couldn't care less. That is, unless you turned their fans into...


According to this morning's Dallas Morning News, this is now a possibility, as Coker has apparently interviewed with AD Steve Orsini for the job. Sure, he won a national title at Miami in '01, but much like Barry Switzer's win in Super Bowl XXX, it was all momentum from the machine that the previous head coach had built (interestingly enough, the previous coach at Miami- Butch Davis- was on Jimmy Johnson's staff for Super Bowls XXVII and XXVIII). If this guy can dismantle the freaking machine that the Hurricanes were in the late '90s and early '00s, what will he do with the glorified JV squad over in University Park?

Awesome Spit Blood Footage

Monday, December 17, 2007

Ten Grand

Thanks to all participants. It will be a struggle to keep Spit Blood pumping through the vessels that are TCU Basketball. I suggest we switch our focus to college basketball teams that matter and an occasional Mavs suck...No they don't battle. I will do my best to get back into the groove (if I ever was in one) during bowl season and on.

"Yeah, Bitch"

Texas Bowl

Who is going?
Party/ tailgate plans?
If I am making it down from tn/dc then those of you much closer better have some good excuses for not showing up. And not the fact that we are 7-5 and playing Houston is not a good excuse.
Seriously though, who all is going?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Guns Up! Grades Down!

Texas Tech, aka "The Harvard of the Plains" has been put on probation. No, they haven't been caught paying their players (although really, how else are you getting kids to move to Lubbock?). This probation has to do with the school itself and it's academic reputation- the university has been placed on accreditation probation by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools because they have been unable to show that it's curriculum meets college-level competencies, according to this morning's Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
I'm just gonna let this one speak for itself.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Gator Aid

Before there was Henson, there was White. You might remember him.

As you may have read from the Cowtown Clips, it looks as though Gator has been making strides in the Cincinatti defense getting his first start Sunday, although at this point it's too little too late. Regardless, if Jerry were to announce that he was throwing Roy away to the Desperados and taking a chance on Gator at SS next year, I can't say I'd be disappointed. In fact, I'd be ecstatic. Actually, they could line Manfredini up in Roy's place and I'd at least give him a few snaps before I complained.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Send a kid to the Texas Bowl

If you can't make it down to Houston for the bowl game, or if you just have $25 to spare (I bet most of you do) and a warm, caring heart (not so sure about this one)- you might want to consider the Purple People Seaters, a group of TCU alumni that are providing tickets to the Texas Bowl for underprivileged kids in the Houston area.

For $25, one kid will receive a ticket to the game, a hot dog and a soda, and a purple souvenir Horned Frog T-shirt to wear to the game. If you donate $30 or more, you get one of the T-shirts for yourself.

For more info, visit or email:

Friday, December 7, 2007

Evil Knievel's Spirit Lives On...

In the hearts and minds of white trash Amercia. "Hey man, what are you doing on Saturday?" Budweiser, Cigarettes, Geo Tracker, Ramp, Camcorder, Retard. "Holy Fucking Shit"

Bad Sports Injuries

I'm glad to see most of you still give a shit about the blog. Here is a short compilation of some pretty bad sports injuries. I was disapointed that Theisman's leg break didn't make the cut, but we all remember that one.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

There's No Place Like Home...

"Hey Neil, some of your fans asked me to 'take care of you'... wanna go hunting?"

After watching last week's craptacular performance in blowing it to Tech, Sunday night's cornholing at the hands of the Sooners, and then last night's sodomy against SMU it's official: Those good vibes we had when the team was 4-0 are officially gone. This is one of the worst basketball teams I have ever witnessed or cheered for... and my high school basketball team would go entire seasons without winning any district games. We are that bad. The ROTC B-team could hang with these guys, and would absolutely out hustle them. We have no offensive strategy. We refuse to play defense. The only decent player we have (Henry Salter) sits on on the bench half the game. Brent Hackett thinks he's a 3-point specialist, but I got news for you buddy: THIS AIN'T HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO PASS THE BALL RATHER THAN SHOOT CONTESTED THREES!" Our one decent three-point shooter (Ryan Wall) only comes in when the game is out of reach. Assuming Dougherty's strategy is to push the ball, stop and put on the illusion that we are going to run an offense, then have someone throw up a random three with 20 seconds left on the shot clock, you'd think he'd play the kid a bit more. We have no physical presence down low. Tauscher is an oaf and has about as many low post moves as Earl Boykins. Langford sometimes shows signs of life, but he's 6-8 and playing a low post position, so don't ever count on him having a spectacular game. Keion Mitchem is probably 12 years old. Mike Scott is our only player who is capable or driving the lane, but he's listed 6-0 (translation: 5-9) so there's no way he ever makes inside shots if we're playing a team capable of blocking shots. Oh yeah, our guys also run away from offensive rebounds like the ball will give them the bird flu. They made SMU look like the Harlem Globetrotters last night, and they are a teeeeerrible team as well. Not as bad we are, but pretty bad. I'm just getting geared up for another two win conference performance.

Rather than starting a clever website such as "" that would ultimately fail because no one cares about TCU athletics outside of the hardcore fan, let alone basketball, I'm just going to politely ask that he resign. So Neil, if you're reading this, click your heels together and go the F back to Kansas.