A few things have always bothered me about the University of Texas. The most obvious would be the liberal hippy culture. But I think it's more than that. I could never put my acute hatred of UT fans into a single word. I struggled for 25 long years, until South Park showed me the answer: Smug.
For a documentary on the effects of the UT/USC National Championship, a game in which UT fans were out matched in terms of smugness by their California counterparts (quite a feat):
Present day Austin:
Thank you South Park once again for showing me the way.
UT fans have always bothered me by being, well, UT fans. In this region of the world, easily the most cocky, arrogant fans around. Now ,I have friends that go to UT, as I'm sure you all do too, and some of them may be normal people. Rest assured, they are the minority, they're the small group of UT fandom that doesn't include the following classifications:
1) Suburbia Superfan- There are 2 subspecies within this category
a.) The NFL isn't on Saturday: You will see this fan in San Antonio on vacation, sporting his brand new Under Armor coaches shirt. He follows the team, but doesn't really care. He knows the team's players and watches the games, but he's a fan b/c he needs a college football team to root for. He has no affiliation w/ the university.
b.) Gas Station: This fan you will run into at your local mall or Wal-Mart. He's fairly unintelligent regarding player personnel and recent news. This species is prone to 'UT National Championship' t-shirts and hats purchased from the local 7-Eleven at a discount. When asked to name the starting QB for UT, 67% of the time this fan responds w/ "V-Young baby." This fan is also most prone to result to violence when his UT allegiance is questioned. Suggestions to mediate arguments via a spelling contest are also not typically well received by this fan.
2.) College All Star
This guy went to UT. You can tell it by the way he walks. Everything about him implies an 'I'm better than you' smugness. This is the reason you hate UT. This fan may or may not know his team and watch the games. He will work 'V-Young' into any conversation regarding college football. In his mind, UT has never been legitimately defeated by a better team. He's not as smug as a Hollywood liberal, but he's the next closest thing we can find. The fact he went to UT is his identity. It's the reason he's better than you. It's the reason I'm writing this.
Before everyone gets up in arms, understand I'm not talking about the 'normal' UT fans. Not every ATM fan is a 12th man corp. cadet that thinks Reveille is John David Crow reincarnated. Not every SMU fan is a trust fund baby w/ a $5,000 a week coke habit whose trash talk at tailgates consists of "I could buy you, and possibly your dad." Not every Tech fan is an 8th year senior with a tough guy chip on their shoulder. Point is every school has normal people who are passionate about their school and those people shouldn't take offense to this. The fact of the matter is, we're not playing those schools this week or I'd be talking about why I hate them instead of UT. And as much as I hate to admit it, despite how much I enjoy talking w/ the average TCU fan on the street, whose team knowledge typically extends far beyond "LaDainian Tomlinson sure was good," we could probably use some of the fans described above at our games, supporting our team. I was friends w/ UT nation before our game against Baylor last Saturday, and I'll be friends w/ UT nation after our game w/ them this week, but until then, I think my thoughts would best be summed up by Bill Romanowski:
"I felt I could take myself to a place where other guys weren’t willing to go because come Sunday after a game, I already started hating the next opponent. I started hating the guy I was going to go against," says Romanowski. "I hated the coaches. I hated their fans. I hated their family. You name it. And by the time I got onto that field come Sunday, watch out because there was rage."
And while a poor showing in their opening game has the whole UT nation up in arms and actually admitting, for the first time, that a TCU win is "albeit still highly unlikely, but a small possibility"- don't be fooled. This is David vs. Goliath. It's at DKR, w/ no home and home to fall back on, and no rematch for years to come. It's Big 12 officials (I assume. Ark St how was that?). It's BCS and big money and a rigged system versus small town conferences/America and the promise of a dream. It's the gigantic Russian versus Rocky. Good versus evil. It's the controlled and polished Mack Brown, with his politician-like demeanor, versus the fiery intensity of a regular good ol' fashion football coach, Gary Patterson. It's a roster filled w/ talent that wouldn't even give TCU's campus a visit. It's the perennially top 10 ranked UT Longhorns and all of their fandom I despise. It's a school w/ 50,000 total alumni versus a school of 50,000 undergrads. It's it. It is what Gameday is all about. If this sounds like vitriol, passion, or hate, well it is. This is all of them. This is Gameday. This week we play Texas. This week, WE READY.