Thursday, December 27, 2007

Lord, Give Me McDonalds, er, Strength

If by Jesus you mean cheeseburgers, then it looks like faith really does heal all

There was yet another article in the S-T this week about Blake's "mysterious illness," this one focusing on how faith helped him get persevere and finish out the season. Possibly information we could've used a lot earlier, because If I'd known that all it took was a little Jesusin', I'd have stayed in a few Saturdays and hit up the temple bright and early if it meant we'd beat Wyoming, let alone Texas.

I think the most ridiculous thing about this article is that it mentions he was up to 290 pounds in the season finale against San Diego State... which is 40 pounds over his normal playing weight. I know depression can lead to over-eating, but good lord! How much Marble Slab do you have to eat to gain that much weight in 3 months? If that's his only food weakness, then my dietary habits lead me to believe that my heart will begin to resemble the consistency of a slab of bacon and my aortas will be pumping out pure Ben and Jerrys by the time I'm 30.

The greatest part of this weight gain, though? He still had a sack in that game! I'm not sure if this attests to the fact that Blake still has all of his talent, or that SDSUs QB was just that slow. Regardless, now having lost 15 pounds, all signs point to Blake having a nice game against the imfamous Cougar High GPA Warriors.

Keep it up and good luck with the NFL, TB.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Smoo Rumor...

The head coaching job at SMU has been vacant since October 28th- meaning their search is just ten days short of reaching two months, which is an eternity for this sort of thing. Who wouldn't want to take that program over? They've done nothing but lose for the better part of two decades, and their fans couldn't care less. That is, unless you turned their fans into...


According to this morning's Dallas Morning News, this is now a possibility, as Coker has apparently interviewed with AD Steve Orsini for the job. Sure, he won a national title at Miami in '01, but much like Barry Switzer's win in Super Bowl XXX, it was all momentum from the machine that the previous head coach had built (interestingly enough, the previous coach at Miami- Butch Davis- was on Jimmy Johnson's staff for Super Bowls XXVII and XXVIII). If this guy can dismantle the freaking machine that the Hurricanes were in the late '90s and early '00s, what will he do with the glorified JV squad over in University Park?

Awesome Spit Blood Footage

Monday, December 17, 2007

Ten Grand

Thanks to all participants. It will be a struggle to keep Spit Blood pumping through the vessels that are TCU Basketball. I suggest we switch our focus to college basketball teams that matter and an occasional Mavs suck...No they don't battle. I will do my best to get back into the groove (if I ever was in one) during bowl season and on.

"Yeah, Bitch"

Texas Bowl

Who is going?
Party/ tailgate plans?
If I am making it down from tn/dc then those of you much closer better have some good excuses for not showing up. And not the fact that we are 7-5 and playing Houston is not a good excuse.
Seriously though, who all is going?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Guns Up! Grades Down!

Texas Tech, aka "The Harvard of the Plains" has been put on probation. No, they haven't been caught paying their players (although really, how else are you getting kids to move to Lubbock?). This probation has to do with the school itself and it's academic reputation- the university has been placed on accreditation probation by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools because they have been unable to show that it's curriculum meets college-level competencies, according to this morning's Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
I'm just gonna let this one speak for itself.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Gator Aid

Before there was Henson, there was White. You might remember him.

As you may have read from the Cowtown Clips, it looks as though Gator has been making strides in the Cincinatti defense getting his first start Sunday, although at this point it's too little too late. Regardless, if Jerry were to announce that he was throwing Roy away to the Desperados and taking a chance on Gator at SS next year, I can't say I'd be disappointed. In fact, I'd be ecstatic. Actually, they could line Manfredini up in Roy's place and I'd at least give him a few snaps before I complained.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Send a kid to the Texas Bowl

If you can't make it down to Houston for the bowl game, or if you just have $25 to spare (I bet most of you do) and a warm, caring heart (not so sure about this one)- you might want to consider the Purple People Seaters, a group of TCU alumni that are providing tickets to the Texas Bowl for underprivileged kids in the Houston area.

For $25, one kid will receive a ticket to the game, a hot dog and a soda, and a purple souvenir Horned Frog T-shirt to wear to the game. If you donate $30 or more, you get one of the T-shirts for yourself.

For more info, visit or email:

Friday, December 7, 2007

Evil Knievel's Spirit Lives On...

In the hearts and minds of white trash Amercia. "Hey man, what are you doing on Saturday?" Budweiser, Cigarettes, Geo Tracker, Ramp, Camcorder, Retard. "Holy Fucking Shit"

Bad Sports Injuries

I'm glad to see most of you still give a shit about the blog. Here is a short compilation of some pretty bad sports injuries. I was disapointed that Theisman's leg break didn't make the cut, but we all remember that one.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

There's No Place Like Home...

"Hey Neil, some of your fans asked me to 'take care of you'... wanna go hunting?"

After watching last week's craptacular performance in blowing it to Tech, Sunday night's cornholing at the hands of the Sooners, and then last night's sodomy against SMU it's official: Those good vibes we had when the team was 4-0 are officially gone. This is one of the worst basketball teams I have ever witnessed or cheered for... and my high school basketball team would go entire seasons without winning any district games. We are that bad. The ROTC B-team could hang with these guys, and would absolutely out hustle them. We have no offensive strategy. We refuse to play defense. The only decent player we have (Henry Salter) sits on on the bench half the game. Brent Hackett thinks he's a 3-point specialist, but I got news for you buddy: THIS AIN'T HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO PASS THE BALL RATHER THAN SHOOT CONTESTED THREES!" Our one decent three-point shooter (Ryan Wall) only comes in when the game is out of reach. Assuming Dougherty's strategy is to push the ball, stop and put on the illusion that we are going to run an offense, then have someone throw up a random three with 20 seconds left on the shot clock, you'd think he'd play the kid a bit more. We have no physical presence down low. Tauscher is an oaf and has about as many low post moves as Earl Boykins. Langford sometimes shows signs of life, but he's 6-8 and playing a low post position, so don't ever count on him having a spectacular game. Keion Mitchem is probably 12 years old. Mike Scott is our only player who is capable or driving the lane, but he's listed 6-0 (translation: 5-9) so there's no way he ever makes inside shots if we're playing a team capable of blocking shots. Oh yeah, our guys also run away from offensive rebounds like the ball will give them the bird flu. They made SMU look like the Harlem Globetrotters last night, and they are a teeeeerrible team as well. Not as bad we are, but pretty bad. I'm just getting geared up for another two win conference performance.

Rather than starting a clever website such as "" that would ultimately fail because no one cares about TCU athletics outside of the hardcore fan, let alone basketball, I'm just going to politely ask that he resign. So Neil, if you're reading this, click your heels together and go the F back to Kansas.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Tony La Russa DUI arrest

Tony Larussa's DUI Video

It won't let me embed it on the blog but check it out.

I've never been too drunk to recite the alphabet, I might slur the shit out of it, but I'm pretty sure the letters would be in the correct order.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Job Opportunity

For those of you thinking about getting in to coaching here is a great entry level job.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Frogs vs. Red Raiderz Tonight

Don't look now, but our basketball team is 4-0. Sure, those four wins have come against a pretty weak schedule, but they've all been double-digit wins and let's face it- our team the last two years would've dropped 2 or 3 of those games. The word on the street is that this year's squad is quick and athletic, plays tough defense and rebounds well. Oh, and they can actually put the ball in the hoop. It's definitely too early to get excited about this team, but at least tonight we'll get to see how they stack up when they take on Bobby Knight and the Tortilla-throwers out in the desolate plains of West Texas.

Tetch has had an up-and-down season so far, having experienced the high of defeating 14th-ranked Gonzaga at the Great Alaska Shoot-Out (not to be confused with Knight's own Great Lubbock shoot-out, in which he's recently hit not one but TWO people with shotgun pellets while separate incidents), yet they've also experienced the low of falling victim to the basketball power that is Sam Houston State in the hornet's nest known as Huntsville (why were they playing AT Sam Houston???).

With a promising start by the Horned Frogs and a shaky one by the Red Raiderz, this one is at least worth watching on TV, and you can: it's been picked by KFWD (Channel 52, 7:00pm) in the Metroplex, although it's a Tetch broadcast so you'll have to deal with listening to some serious Sand-Aggie homers.

GP Stickin' Around

According to this article, GP hasn't had any interest from Nebraska or Arkansas... probably the only two jobs in the country that could have potentially shown real interest. Nebraska was a reach even before Tom Osborne came back into the fold, but Arkansas made me a little bit nervous and I at least thought they might show some interest. However, based on the far-fetched Jimmy Johnson rumors it seems like the Hogs are going to try and make a huge statement in whoever they hire. Unfortunately, based on long-time Athletic Director Frank Broyles retiring, and how their basketball coaching search went, don't be surprised if the big names spurn the offer and they come looking for more middle of the road coaches like Patterson. I don't think he leaves or gets serious consideration, but I look for his name to at least get tossed into the mix.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Players of the Week

Jason Phillips looks mean, Joseph Turner looks like a rapist, which is fitting for what he did to the Pre-Columbian Mesoamericans this weekend. Bring on the dirty 713.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Pack your bags for Houston

First of all- Goodness gracious, Joseph Turner! Down 17-0 to San Diego State, the Frogs looked like they'd be sitting at home come bowl time. But then the sophomore put the team on his back and racked up 226 yards and 4 TDs, leading the way in the 45-33 win. I can't miss this opportunity to mention that he represents the 512.
(Also, Schultz-haters: we had the ball for more than 40 minutes and put up 694 yards of offense. OK, so SDSU wasn't exactly the '85 Bears, but that kind of output against ANYONE, especially with such a young and injury-plagued offense, isn't exactly something worth getting fired over.)

As for our bowl destination, we're all but officially going to the Texas Bowl in Houston, where we'll take on U of H (who have officially accepted an invitation). We won't be formally invited, though, until after the BCS Bowl match-ups have been announced and the Big 12 officially gets a second team into the BCS and thus vacates their spot in the Texas Bowl. That will happen, though, and the MWC Presidents will vote to allow New Mexico to play in the New Mexico Bowl a second consecutive year, which will allow the Texas Bowl to invite TCU. From reading between the lines of press reports and what Danny Morrison has said on the issue, Air Force seems like a lock to play in the Armed Forces Bowl in Fort Worth on New Year's Eve.

Obviously, this isn't the marquee bowl game we anticipated in the preseason, but it's also a lot better than last year, when we played in California mid-week against an absolute no-name team. And, let's face it, there were times this year where we thought we wouldn't be playing in any bowl game. The Texas Bowl will be Friday night, December 28th and Houston is an easy trip and our previous trips down there have been a ton of fun. No, Houston isn't a marquee team, but they're a former SWC rival and have a good offense that'll fun to watch against our D and a terrible defense that'll allow our offense to play like it did this weekend. Also, our basketball team (which is 4-0 so far) plays at Rice the afternoon after the football game.

Of course, as accurate as I believe this to be, it's still just speculation. I'm sure there's a chance that things won't shake out this way, but I'm going to plan on watching the Frogs dominate Cougar High, partying in Houston and talking trash about that crummy city no matter how much fun I have.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

List of Got Dieds

Chase Ortiz: Going Through His Pregame Ritual

I knew we were banged up, but good lord the list is rough. I mean, let's take Shae Reagan. Dude got his leg ripped off against Wyoming and has come back and made an impact and these guys are pansin' out over a little back pain? One time in church league basketball I jammed my finger catching a pass and still went off for like 8 big ones. I guess I'm just a lot tougher than most D-1 athletes.

Anyway, here's the list:
  • Bonner - hip

  • Roach - shoulder

  • Richmond - knee

  • Newhouse - back. But, seeing as how he seems like a really cool dude, I'll let it slide. This time.

  • Brock - ankle

  • Washington - shoulder. I'm pretty sure this might be because he dislocates it everytime he goes for a punt block to get those few extra centimeters. Way to take one for the team.

  • Brown - knee/TCU RB curse

  • Linder - RRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEEEEEEEE. But seriously, if he does have the 28 Days Later rage virus, now would be a great time to start biting all of those backups in the locker room to up their game a little bit.

  • Chase Ortiz - suspended for atrocities committed in the backfield. Seriously, we all yell for Henson to eat, but Ortiz is certainly the Hannibal Lecter of this team.

You Tube Tuesday

Don't Forget, Frank TV premieres tonight at 10 on TBS

Monday, November 19, 2007

AB: Out

Run Game Got Died.

AB is officially done for the year, although anyone could see this one coming. Are we capable of having a starting RB stay healthy for an entire season? It's a curse. Regardless, this doesn't really matter with the emergence of Andy "White Lightning" Dalton as a rushing threat. Did you know he's led the team in rushing the past couple of games? Who saw THAT coming? What's not so great? He has something like 175 yards rushing for the year and is close to the top of our individual rushing total.
Also, I know I've been lacking on the blogosphere in recent weeks, but after just listening to the secretary at my office talk to someone in Spanish about a Kia Rio for 15 minutes, I realize there are people doing even less work than I am. So, I think tomorrow I'm locking the door and getting this thing back on track.

Nick Saban is a Piece of Shit

The highest paid coach in Division I-A @ 4 million a year, loses to Louisiana Monroe's Charlie Weatherbie who is the lowest paid coach in Division I-A @ 130,000 a year.

After half time, Saban, realizing what would happen if they lost to Louisiana Monroe, decided to start wide receiver DJ Hall despite suspending him for the game because of a violation of team policy.

Nick "I won't coach at Alabama" Saban is turning into a bigger piece of shit season by season, week by week, day by day. I hope nothing but the worst for Alabama football.

Friday, November 16, 2007

RIP: HMS Princess Elizabeth

This is probably the biggest tragedy to strike the TCU Frat Community since Alvarado's closed and the "Greek" was renamed to "Pond Street Grill". In terms of sheer "Frat" tragedy, I put this a distant second to the 2001 burning of the Oui, but narrowly above the 2003 Lamda Chi flag football victory.

Neil Dougherty FINALLY Lands Some Big Name Recruits

TCU adds three top recruits

Staff and Wire Reports

The TCU men's basketball team received national letters of intent
Wednesday from three of the top 50 high school seniors in Texas,
according to one Web site, and recognized the Horned Frogs'
early signing class as one of the top 20 in the country.

Kevin Butler, a 6-foot-5 guard from Duncanville, headlines the class.
He was the MVP of the Class 5A state title game last season.

Houston-area players Logan Lancon (6-6, G, Clear Creek) and James
Blasczyk (7-foot, F, Friendswood) are ranked No. 43 and No. 47 by the
Web site.

Walker Kelly of Fort Worth Arlington Heights is the headliner of a
baseball class that features five of the top 25 players in Texas.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Up Yours Utah

Wyoming Coach Flips Utah the Bird

This ugly incident was after Utah attempted an onside kick while up 43-0. And who said that Mormons dont have a sense of humor?

The 8 Hour Stand Off Ends Anti-Climatically


Dan Jenkins and TCU Football

ESPN - Maisel: Love of the game - College Football

For all of you who dont get the Threads Cowtown Update, this is a great article about sports writer Dan Jenkins and his love of TCU football. I hope everyone gets a chance to read it.

"But in campus politics, nothing defines a man like his football parking space."


Just Another 5am Morning at the Office

I was half alseep, sitting at my desk and hear several sirens and think nothing of it. Three minutes later, more sirens. Two minutes later, more sirens, enough to make me walk outside to see what is going on. By 6:00am there are at least 30 cops cars, 4 SWAT Team vans, 1 Bomb Squad RV, and Army trucks forming a huge perimeter around McBride's gun shop, which is down the street from our office.

Apparently some nut job has baracaded himself inside. We stood outside an watched more and more cops/SWAT members show up, along with two armored vehicles that look like they could drive through anything. The stand off is still going on, but our boss, who is like the teacher that won't let you go to the talent show, told us to get back to work and close the blinds. Diabetes doesn't take vacations. So now I am clueless as to what is going on, but will give an update when I hear what has happened.

Fort Worth Makes Drudge Report

Man cited for porn on wheels

FORT WORTH -- This X-rated movie was moving, Fort Worth police say.


Monday morning, a 24-year-old Irving man was cited after a Fort Worth police officer spotted porn playing inside the man’s car.

The officer was conducting extra patrol at a club at in the 100 block of S. Main Street, south of downtown, when he saw the car drive by, then park near the club, said Lt. Dean Sullivan, police spokesman.

According to a police report, a 10-inch screen pointed toward the rear of the vehicle showed “multiple people, naked, having sexual intercourse.”

As the driver began to drive off, the officer pulled him over. Inside the man’s car, the officer spotted an open beer.

The driver, Cameron Walker, was issued several misdemeanor citations, including for obscene display or distribution, not having a driver’s license and for the open container of alcohol.

Monday, November 12, 2007

TCU Tuition - StarTelegram Article

TCU Tuition to Rise by 8.4%

Looks like its that time a year to go ahead and crank up the tuition fees again, luckily we got out of there when we did.

The article also mentions the demolition of the old student center in favor of a new classroom facility.

Friday, November 9, 2007


My god, did anyone else notice how HORRID the announcing was from the Versus team last night? Aside from the inane comments, they were sack riding BYU the entire time. If I hadn't been watching the game and only listening to the commentary, I almost wouldn't have had much of an idea who else was playing. Everytime BYU ran the ball in the third quarter when they were up by 9 they'd say something like, "And they rumble ahead, controlling that clock!!!!" Right. Because teams run out the clock in the third quarter with a 9 point lead. Awful. We eventually had to mute the TV and provide our own more graphic commentary.

As for the game, well, it went about as expected. Defense gave them too big of a cushion early before finally shutting them down when it mattered, only the offense couldn't come up with the big play. This is perhaps because we still have the worst offensive play calling of all time. Aside from the botched Kerley reverse pass that ended up getting a short running gain, Schultz did it once again. "Hey, the QB draw worked the last play... lets run it again!!!!!" despite the fact that our line was getting absolutely dominated, which is forgivable considering most of the BYU team is older than any of the bloggers on this site and outweighed our guys by 15-20 pounds. Their line averaged something like 315 pounds. The biggest concern for me is that we still have not figured out how to run this two QB system, which I don't always agree with, but looked decent last night. However, why pull Jackson when he was clearly moving the ball well against BYU? I'm a big Dalton apologist, but the offense had that extra spark last night with Jackson in the game and they wouldn't go with it, although Dalton looked every bit as sharp running the ball, giving our offense a faint swagger that they've been lacking a good part of the season. Dalton came in and led the long drive that put us right back in it, but I still think Jackson should've had one more series. He just has to hold onto the ball (Brad and Jourdan, sorry if there's a small, oblong brown stain on your couch today because I'm pretty sure I crapped my pants when he fumbled that ball into the end zone.)

Defensively, Blake and Ortiz were getting decent pressure, and we held their fag Samoan piece of shit running back to short gains, but they were just no match for guys that were that much bigger than they were, and he still finished with two touchdowns. As has happened and even with the interception by Bonner, our pass coverage was abysmal. I think we allowed them to convert on about 17 third and longs, but they still managed to come up big at the end, aided by replay (that ball that hit the ground, bounced into the other receivers hands, and went for a big game nearly gave me a heart attack).

Despite all of this, it was really a pretty great game. I was really glad we at least had a chance to win, even though Dalton decided 4th and long would be a good time to lose his footing, but that can be attributed to the poor turf upkeep/Mormon voodoo curses. Seriously, what a bunch of creeps. The Aggies are a bunch of cultish weirdos who worship a dog, but the Mormons? I'm not even going to get into it.

So, it would appear that BYU is going to win the conference pretty soundly, but in the end, it doesn't matter. They're all going to Hell anyway.

Fire Craig Thompson

Sorry, just pissed about the fact i have to watch mwc games on cstv and versus


Thursday, November 8, 2007

Frogs vs. Magic Underwear TONIGHT

Well the 'sky is falling' sentiment that was rampant after the Utah disaster was quieted last week as the Frogs absolutely DESTROYED New Mexico, and even Mike Schultz picked up some kudos for some imaginative play-calling (another pass by Kerley, a running play to Marshall Newhouse?!?).

The feeling of satisfaction after that very-'05 & '06 looking shutout could be temporary as the Frogs head to Provo to take on BYU tonight to take on the Mormans. If you don't know much about Mormonism, you should probably read up on it. On the crazy meter, they rank somewhere beyond the Baptists and not quite to the Scientologists. Offenses that warrant being EXPELLED from BYU include: premarital sex, use of alcohol or drugs, use of tobacco, owning any kind of pornagraphy and use of CAFFEINE. If we ever play the Cougars up there on a Saturday, we really need to show these folks what college football and tailgating are all about.

Speaking of, these Thursday games are just killing the Frogs. Since the start of the 2005 season, the Frogs are 24-3 on Saturdays and 1-4 on Thursdays. The only solace I can find in tonight's schedule is that, since the game doesn't start until 8:00, I can watch "30 Rock" before kickoff. "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" will be a good visual companion for the victory party. And by party I mean a bunch of dudes sitting on my couch, fending off "please be quiet" text messages from our total cunt neighbors.

Whoa, there- reel in that bitterness and re-focus it into positive energy for the Frogs.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Inside the McRib

Click to enlarge: Right out of the bag, still in the wrapper.

Right out of the bag, still in the wrapper.
Click to enlarge: Just unwrapped.

Just unwrapped.

Click to enlarge: A look under the bun.

A look under the bun.
Click to enlarge: With the pickles and onions removed.

With the pickles and onions removed.

Click to enlarge: With the sauce washed off.

With the sauce washed off.
Click to enlarge: This is the 'bottom,' apparently the 'ribs' are only pressed on the top.

This is the 'bottom,' apparently the 'ribs' are only pressed on the top.

Click to enlarge: McRib sliced in half... this is the 'meat' inside.

McRib sliced in half... this is the 'meat' inside.
Click to enlarge: a close up of the fileted McRib.

a close up of the fileted McRib.

Pure Processed Pork Pornography

Yes everyone, the rumors are true. McRib is back at McDonald's for it's annual run, because processed, rib shaped meat sandwiches are only in season during the holidays. I've gotten a lot of Christmas gifts I've really enjoyed, but having the McRib pretend to go away for 10 months, only to come back in a blaze of glory right before Thanksgiving is the Christmas gift that keeps on giving.

You can have your A-1 thick and hearty burger, but for my money, McRib is the greatest seasonal sandwich on the market right now. Say what you will about me, but if it came down to baby back ribs at Chilis or, dare I say, the tragedy that is Applebees riblets, McRib would be my choice every time. Just ask Monsieur Hilliard.

Go get a McRib. Now. Just don't get use the drive thru. Did you know McDonald's charges a drive thru tax? Not only are they clogging my arteries, but now they're invading on my convenience? Blasphemy!


Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl Dec. 31 / 12:30 p.m. Fort Worth, Texas ESPN Tie-Ins: Mountain West vs. Pac-10 Projection: TCU vs. Mississippi State (No Pac-10 projected available

Not bad. Not bad at all. Considering who the other teams in our conference are slated to play in bowl games, I'll take it. MSU is the biggest fag team in the SEC as far as pulling out ridiculous wins, but at home in a bowl game, we'd take them.

Headed to Vegas this weekend. Trying to line up my college football bets. Since this has been a betting forum in the past, any suggestions?

Feeling Kansas/OSU over as a safety bet depending on what it is. Tech/Texas is 6.5 right now... pretty sure Texas will cover that, despite how they've been this year. Missouri over A&M even if the line is 50.

Brian Bonner

Brian Bonner's quote to the Star-Telegram about why he hates calling for a fair catch.

"I know they've got smelling salts over on the sidelines," he said. "And if somebody out there just wants to go ahead and take my head off, I've got faith in [trainer] David Gable to come out there with the smelling salts and get me off the field."


November has been deemed National Diabetes Month by the American Diabetes Association, which is important for my line of work...however, this month is also dedicated to cliches. In fact, November 3rd was official cliche day. So here starts a thread of your past time favorites that you heard from your grandparents, your more recent cliches that you still hear from your parents, and new age cliches that rule because we made them.

Here's a few to get your cliche juices flowing...

"An idle mind is the Devil's workshop" (Debbie Finch)
"If ________ jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?" (Debbie Finch)
"Remember who you are and who's you are" (The Parents Finch)
"Don't take any wooden nickels" (Grandma Finch)
"It's not what you deserve, it's what you negotiate" (Grandpa Finch)
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people"

...and remember, to say "not to be too cliche" is probably the most cliched thing you could ever say...

And please don't forget that...

Monday, November 5, 2007

Hook Em' Allah

Ah the pitfalls of bandwagon fandom.

8,000 F%#@ Yeah!!!!!!!

Imagine how many hits we would have if we had not been mediocre. However, PA Finch, PA.

Bandwagon Re-opened for Business

Surprised no one has written about Saturday's beastialification of the Lobos. For everyone that was there, it was ugly. Sort of like that 52-3 debauchery of UNLV two years back. We haven't played that well on both sides since the Baylor game. There's really nothing to say other than read this S-T article. It sums up what happened pretty well. I predicted the resurgence to start against Utah. Looks like I was a week early. Personally, I'm pretty excited about a FW Bowl matchup against a Big Ten/SEC team. It's a much better situation that the flower bowl against Navy.
Too bad our next game is against BYU. Away. On Thursday.
Go Frogs.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Star-Telegram Article

It lights up, blows smoke and, mostly ... it's LOUD!!!!

Halloween Duo Costume of the Year

Darren McFadden and Felix Jones as Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone.

Dog the Bigoted Bounty Hunter

The National Enquirer has caught Dog the Bounty Hunter's racist rant demanding that his son break up with his girlfriend of African American decent on tape. Listen to the tape, but beware, he drops about 30 N Bombs.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Pep Rally Friday

So the MTN is broadcasting a pep rally of sorts featuring TCU players and coaches this Friday. The event will be aired lived and filmed outside Amon G. I highly recommend anyone living in or around the Fort venture down to this thing with some obnoxious signs ridiculing the fact that they taping a live event in a city that is unable to receive the broadcast.

Happy Halloween

I apologize for my lack of posts recently, please do not view that as a reflection of how I view our team, I have just been traveling of late and unfortunately it has distracted me from supporting what I firmly believe to be the best 4-4 football team in college history. One of my favorite things about Halloween is sharing a card with a significant other on this special Halloween night. For those of you looking to get some 'business' tonight, feel free to borrow any of these.

Dear Halloween friend,
I am trying to come up with some new Halloween traditions and need your help. Has anyone ever thought of stapling your head repeatedly to a wall.
P.S. Leave a message if I'm not home.

Dear Accommodating Halloween aquaintance,
Tonight when the sun goes down do me a favor, tie yourself up, it will save me time, and foreplay.

Hey Guaranteed Halloween lover,
Let's sneak into a graveyard tonight. Your shallow grave will blend in better there.

Hey there Witchy witchy witch witch,
Do me a favor, swallow this diamond. I will come over in about twelve hours to get it back.

Hey Pumpkin Head,
You know how I know we will be together tonight? Because I know how to jimmy a lock. Take precautions and you die.
PS. Just kidding.
P.P.S I'm not kidding. Look out..

Dear end of October Surprise ghoul,
I am am making out my materials list for your family's Halloween Party tonight. So far I have- a box full of condoms and heart full of revenge. Am I missing anything?
P.S. Oh yes. The Bone saw.

Dear Autumn Interrogative answerer,
Question: What is the best thing to come out of a bucket of cheap wine? Answer: The courage to saw out your spine.

To my special Halloween kitten,
Halloween always triggers my imagination. Just like my body will trigger your gag reflex.

Dear costumed Fall friend,
What do you plan on doing when the clock strikes midnight? Me? I will be trying to hold the gun steady as I watch you cry and perform an unconvincing striptease.

Hey Halloween Scare Scare,
I bought some eyelid retractors, want to know why? I want you to look me in the eyes when the virus passes into you.
Your generous friend,

Dear Halloweiner,
What do you do when you love someone so much that it makes you want to kill them? I send them a card. Happy Halloween.

All credit on these goes to Gordo from the ticket. His cards are one of my favorite things about Halloween. These are from 2006, hopefully we'll see 2007 sometime later today. Will keep you posted.


On Tommy Blake ...
Tommy has practiced all week. As of right now, I expect him to be back for this weekend. The key for him is not just to play, but to play well." -GP

Good news I suppose, but does anyone really care whether or not he plays at this point? I hope he is doing better and recovering from what ever it is that ails him, and he certainly would be great to have on the field. I just hope he isn't on of those distractions that just when you get over he pops up again.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Most Incredible Ending Ever?

This play makes '82 Cal v. Stanford look routine. If only there was a trumpet player who gets jacked in the end zone.

Trinity beats Millsaps on 15 laterals.

SMU fires coach Bennett,

SMU fires coach Bennett, will finish out season with team

Friday, October 26, 2007

David Copperfield: The Illusionist with No Game

You wouldn't think an illusionist would have to try that hard to get laid. Then again, it is, after all, David Copperfield.
NextRound's Take

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Sick Day Thoughts

Perhaps I should get sick more often? It looks like the Frogs were hard at work defeating the judicial system the past 3 days while I was hard at work sweating, eating crackers and absolutely devouring season 4 of The Wire. Simmons may not be right about much, but he hit that prediction of The Wire being maybe the greatest show of the past decade right on the head.

Anyway, I see someone has already brought up the dropping of the weapons charges against Stephen "Mad Dog" Hodge and Robert "Six Shooter" Henson. I mean, what kind of country do we live in where a brother can't pull into a parking lot late at night and discharge his unlicensed and unregisterd firearm into the air? This is AMERICA people! As both hail from the 903 (my neighborhood because, let's face it, east Texas is basically just a large neighborhood) and knowing what kinds of things go on in those parts, I can say with all confidence that these two guys were absolutely, phenomenally guilty. Five or ten years ago there's no way a TCU football player beats a gun charge, but ever since we started winning and attracting the types of players who bring this sort of behavior to the program, it appears that we get to reap the legal rewards as well. So bravo, GP! Now, fire Schultz and use the added salary bonus to replace him with a bail bondsman.

In other legal news, it was also noted that GP let Walter Bryant off the hook for his performance vs. his baby mama and will allow him to play in the UNM. Because, I suppose if you can't beat up the mother of your children, who can you really beat up?

However, on a positive note, it has been reported that Tommy Blake has been practicing and will likely be available for the UNM game. I'm pretty sure this news doesn't affect me either way, at least from a football stand point. It's great that he's apparently cleared up his head from whatever was ailing him, but seeing how he performed in the few games he did play in, and how amazing (sarcasm) our defensive line has played thusfar, it almost makes more sense to let the younger guys who will be carrying the team next year to get some reps.... Eh, who am I trying to kid? I suppose it's great that he's back. Considering what he did for our team last season and the expectations we had for him this year, I guess he's owed it. Hopefully this will not only convince some team to take a chance on the guy in the late rounds of next year's draft, but also help us squeak out 4 straight victories and make our bowl eligibility a certainty.

But, with all this seemingly good news, I suppose there always has to be some ungood to balance it out, right? From S-T:

"Tailback Aaron Brown and backup Joseph Turner are among four starters on offense who missed workouts Sunday and Tuesday. Offensive linemen Matty Lindner and Marshall Newhouse also have been held out of the Frogs' first two practices during a 16-day span between games.

Coach Gary Patterson said he's not sure on their status for the Nov. 3 home game against New Mexico.

"But we're a long way out from that," he said.

In the second half against Utah, Brown (knee) and Turner (foot) aggravated injuries that cost them a combined six games earlier this season. Lindner (ankle) was injured in the first quarter, and Newhouse (knee) played despite suffering his injury early on.

Starting right guard Giles Montgomery has practiced despite wearing a cast on his left thumb and wrist, and dealing with a shoulder injury. Backup safety Colin Jones is working out with a cast over his right forearm.

Tight end Shae Reagan, who has missed all but one play of the past three games with a fracture in his left leg, hasn't practiced but no longer is wearing a protective boot"

Whoa, I mean, I knew we had injuries, but good lord it looks a lot worse when it's spelled out in front of you. Looks like this bye week came at a really opportune time. Just wish it'd followed a win.

Anyway, I'm off to Colorado this weekend, where the Mtn is in full effect, which will just build on my frustration with us not being able to get the network as it always does. Let's try and stay away from the juries and INjuries as much as possible while I'm absent.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Weapons charges? Please. Do a little "community service," and we'll let the whole thing slide. This article totally reinforces the idea behind the conundrum of the college athlete double-standard. Granted, no one is happier about this news than me.

Go Frogs.

Bowl Predictions

There is now only one site predicting that we even make a bowl, and while I generally don't like or agree with cfn this would be a fun game. Well, it would be fun if our run defense decided to show up.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Dec. 31 / 12:30 p.m. Fort Worth, Texas ESPN
Tie-Ins: Mountain West vs. Pac-10
Projection: TCU vs. Arkansas No Pac 10 projected available

You Tube Tuesday - Curb

Jim Rome

Rome has always had tough restrictions on listening to his show on the internet, but here is a link, some Cally station, where you can listen. If you want to kill 3 hours at work, and enter the jungle with all the other clones, tune in from 11am-2pm. I'm out.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Offensive Lines

Here' s an article from the Fort Worth Weekly.

As if our team didn't have enough problems.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

NFL Picks

*** Baltimore -3 @ Buffalo
*** Washington -8.5 vs Atlanta

Monday Night
***** Indianapolis -3 @ Jacksonville
Payton has had two weeks to prepare.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

I know this picture has nothing to do with anything, BUT the creativity factor can't be denied. Pay close attention to the merge of body paint and pubic hair. Wow. The way the frogs are playing makes me want to move to Cuba anyway.

Friday, October 19, 2007

At Least We Won in the Stats

Seriously. Check the stats. If you hadn't watched the game, you'd have no idea we lost.

Here's the story of the game: We had more first downs, fewer punts, 10 tackles for loss, 6 sacks, held them to 100 fewer yards than their season average, including less than 60 in the second half. The only defensive blunder was allowing a 100 yard rusher AGAIN, but he only ran for 101.

Then, in true 2007 TCU fashion, we throw 4 picks, drop 6 passes, miss a 22 yard field goal that would've brought back momentum, and continue to be entirely predictable on offense. It's pathetic. As mentioned earlier, our O-Line performed pretty well honestly: they only allowed 2 sacks, and those could certainly be attributed to Dalton panicking. Aaron Brown was averaging 5.4 yards per carry... and we gave it to him 11 times. I don't know. It's pretty much like Schultz decided to lay down and die after his one good play call.

TCU is now 1-4 in Thursday games since joining the MWC. I understand the AF game was originally going to be on a Saturday, and the only reason we schedule these games is for TV, but why schedule games on national television just to get beat? By the way, we have lost every single non Mtn televised game this year. Stage fight maybe?

I love GP. I love our coaching staff, for the most part. However, I question his motivating in these tense situations.. The motto for the week was "Just Survive" which I understand because it's a short week and then we get a break. Honestly though, fuck that. Our play calling completely suggested that we were playing simply to survive. We got ballsy before we took the lead, and then we were just playing for the lead. It wasn't to put points on the board, it was simply to have our offense pick them apart (which we are not great at, as evidenced) and then have the defense hold.

Patterson is the highest paid staff member at TCU. By far. Like several times over. He knows that we have these short games (and, as much as he won't acknowledge it, Utah also has a short week and also has to travel across time zones). He knows that we typically do not perform well. So, why would you come out and say "Just survive?" It's like he just accepts it and is like, "Hey guys, I know we aren't going to play well, so just squeak one out." Especially after how we played last week, you'd think he'd come out wanting blood and continue the momentum. I suppose this is why they kept Dalton in the gun with no backfield, but, as much as I like showing the guy you have faith in him, when something isn't working, why not try and hammer them on the ground, knowing that their secondary is far better than their front seven? But, when you put Dalton back in the shotgun by himself, and you know that he isn't a great runner, of course they're going to drop 5-6 guys back every time, knowing that, even if he decides to break for a run, he's not going to be hard to bring down. By not mixing it up, we basically handed the game to them.

Utah is a pretty good team, and they're on a hot streak, but despite this, they never pulled away. It was almost like they were challenging us to make a few big plays and break the game open. Our defense did all that they could, but, when our offense gives them no help, there's nothing to expect.

So, 4-4. Theoretically we could win out and be 8-4 to finish the season. In most years, we could finish even 7-5 and probably get a bowl invite. However, this year even 8-4 doesn't guarantee us anything as our conference is pretty strong. Three conference losses doesn't help either.

So, Frogs Fans, keep your Frogs up and pray for a miracle.


It would make my day if someone could explain the logic behind our offesive strategy last night. We have a freshman quarterback who threw 4 interceptions yet the entire 4th quarter we ran a no back set. In fact, our top two tailbacks had 16 carries...combined...the entire game. I'm over harping on Schultz, and I don't believe the sky is falling. GP is still God, but shit man 16 carries?

Now I Remember What a BAD Season Feels Like

Jesus H.

A. Dalton Comp/Att: 20/45; Yds: 164; TD: 0; INT: 4

Did anyone else notice that AD refused to stay in the pocket that the offensive line was creating play after play. He would freak out for NO REASON, roll out, and make a shitty pass on the run.

You are a POCKET PASSER, so stay the fuck in the pocket, set your feet, and throw the fucking ball.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

People with October Birthday's Kick Ass

To all of you who are born in the month of October...Congrats. We are fucking awesome and the rest of the months are shitty months to be born in. Holla

Fan of the Week, Month, Year, Century

You always hear about how Alabama football fans are some of the most venemous, ravenous, most outrageously unrealistic fans in the entire country. Given how much they're paying Saban, and the fact that they oversold their stadium for a spring game, I suppose this has to be semi-accurate, but I still wasn't sold.

Until I saw this guy:

Alabama flag? Check. Houndstooth hat? Check. Kilt? Check. Bear Bryant tattoo covering his entire back? Check check CHECK. Wow. This is a guy that genuinely has to have Alabama perform well or else his body image will be VERY damaged.

The best part is, this guy is probably completely one of the T-shirt fans we consistently ridicule when referring to the Bevos. However, with this kind of dedication, I think I'd have to let any sort of comments slide. Bravo, sir.

Also, I was trying to think of a situation where this could be applied to a TCU fan. First instinct would be to have Dutch tattooed on your back, but seeing as how his time was well before any of our parents were even born, I think we'd have to have something more recent. GP hasn't achieved permanent ink status. Yet.

I'm guessing it would have to be LT, stiff arming satan while crushing the skull of Osama Bin Laden. and the ball would be the decapitated noggin' of Hitler. Just a thought.

Lame bet of the day

Boston at Cleveland over/under 8 runs. Any suggestions.

Pick Tonight

***** South Florida @ Rutgers under 52.5

Don't ask why, just do it.

Go Frogs.

Resurgence Game 2: Utah

Since Utah is one of the most impossible teams to gauge this season, in lieu of my usual pre-game ramblings, I'll just link to the Star Telegram articles regarding tonight's game.

Obvious, Obvious Keys, Briefly:

  • Stop the run. Utah is undefeated when they rush for more than 100 yards. TCU has given up 100 yards to runner in 5 of the last 7 games. This must change tonight
  • Secondary must step up. Secondary has been great at stopping short plays, but gets killed on deep plays. Utah has a very solid passing game. Big plays must be kept to a minimum.


  • Dalton. Utah's secondary is relatively banged up. They will be better than Stanford, but we need Dalton to play out of his mind once more to open up plays for...
  • Brown/Turner. Do I really need to elaborate? Utah's D-line is strong, but their LBs are suspect. Our O-line needs to put up another dominating performance because once Brown or Turner can get through that first level, it can be lights out.

Special Teams:

  • Return Defense. Apparently Utah has a top notch return man. No big returns.
  • Kicking Game. Recruit a new kicker.

That's basically the highlights for anyone that doesn't want to read the articles, although this is pretty much how we should prepare for any game.

Also, if you need any added reason to dislike Utah, they produced Keith Van Horn, who, while not being the sole cause for the Mavericks lackluster Finals performance, he sure wasn't good for it.

The Unlovable Losers: TCU Basketball

Since some of you have apparently lost interest in Frogs Football, and are setting yourselves up for ridicule after "The Resurgence" that will begin tonight, I'll pass along this TCU Men's Basketball preview.
Outlook: Sandwiched somewhere between hell freezing over and the Tenacious D movie winning a lifetime achievement Oscar (which is extremely unfair that it hasn't). We're picked to finish second to last in the MWC. The MWC is not a good basketball conference. The easy/sarcastic answer to this would be that, ever since Art Pierce removed himself from the team, the feng shui has been off. The real answer is that these guys just aren't that good and have the worst coach in the entire sporting world. This includes when my dad coached my 6th grade church basketball team. I went to one game last year when we played SFA (mostly because I have a friend that plays for SFA. And when I say mostly I mean entirely) and we almost lost. I hope we lose every game this year (and only because hopefully it will lead to the removal of the topic of my next paragraph...)
Dougherty. Neil. Fucking. Dougherty. Really? This is the best we can do? Oh, but I forget, he's the best dressed man in college basketball! Suck My Ass. I feel like you all probably remember Billy Ball. We averaged like 175 points a game. Sure, the competition averaged 174 but Billy Tubbs' don't need no stinkin' defense! This guy is the bane of my TCU existence. Junior year, the last year we still had most of Tubbs' last recruiting class, was ridiculous for TCU basketball. Santee, Shrop, Aaron "Sportscenter" Curtis? Sure, we only made the NIT, but that's about as much as we can hope for. We still made the Sweet 16 in that and hung with Maryland until the last few minutes of the game. Hell, I think we were ahead at the half!
A few years back in one of my marketing classes, our job was to market the basketball team and Dougherty came in and spoke to us and, I can honestly say, I've never been more unimpressed with a "motivator." He was condescending, negative, blamed everything on the fans, and didn't stop and think that maybe he's a poor recruiter and coach. He expected to come in here and it still be Kansas. Well, Neil, we're not in... ok, I'm not going to go there. The thing about Kansas a) it's a basketball school, b) they're good, c) they don't win 5 games in a season total. d) FU, Neil. Can we pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease run this guy out of town? Even if our basketball team is terrible post Dougherty, at least I'll know we tried.
I mean, SMU may still not have the right Doherty, but at least he coached at UNC. Let's show Dougherty the Dougher.

Neil Dougherty pointing towards his next destination: The F outta here.

In other news, the TCU women's basketball team is supposed to finish second in conference which leads me to ask: Like a tree falling in the woods, if the TCU women's basketball team wins the conference, does anyone know and/or care?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Can We Talk Mavs?

I keep hearing about the possibilities of a Mavs/Lakers trade including crybaby Kobe Bryant. But what would the Mavs have to give up? Possible players include Jason Terry and my favorite Josh Howard, but the Mavs would definitely have to throw in more names to make the Lakers and Jerry Buss happy. The Mavs would definately have to give up Howard, and i don't like losing Terry either. I would miss seeing Terry drain clutch 3-pointers all year.
I don't know if this is a good idea or a bad one. I think the Mavs should be focusing their attention on a more aggressive center instead of freaking Dampier, and Diop is certainly coming along nicely. Another possible stop for Kobe is in Chicago, but I really doubt the Bulls will let go of all their young stars like Ben Gordan and Burnsy's favorite Dang.
Just wanted to see what people thought about the possibility of Kobe and Dirk playing together. Might be a great combo...

GP Rumors

I've read some wild rumors regarding God, er, Gary Patterson today. My favorite would definitely have to be that once Baylor inevitably runs off Guy Morriss, they will likely come calling GPs way. HA! That's a good one. I understand it's the Big 12, but come ON! The FW Bowl is leaps and bounds better than where Baylor would ever end up. I'm not even goign to address this.

I've also seen Patterson might be on the short list once Fran is run out of College Station by those pesky collies. Fortunately for us, I'm not sure that he has the resume that they are looking for and, again, like Baylor, I don't see them competing for the Big 12 south title anytime soon.

The team the scares me the most is probably Arkansas. As they recently found out with their basketball program, the Arkansas name, so prominent in the middle part of last century, just ain't what is used to be. If the school is so far removed from a basketball championship that occured just 13 years ago, then I feel like the "Game of the Century" and the 64 football championship probably don't carry much weight. Not to mention the departure of icon Frank Broyles. Given Arkansas' dismal defensive performances this year and the fact that GP always throws out magnificent run defenses, if not complete defenses, he would fit in well in the hard nosed, run happy SEC. I would hate this as a Frogs fan, but as a back up Arkansas fan, I wouldn't hate as much as if he went to...

Nebraska! Argh, dark horse! I hadn't given them much of a thought, notably because they were supposed to be magnificent this year, but with the firing of their AD, Callahan's departure seems pretty imminent. I will let the S-T article give the details. If only Houston Nutt had taken the Nebraska job a few years ago, Arkansas wouldn't be sinking into even more obscurity, and we wouldn't be worrying about our coach leaving.

I still don't think he leaves, but I hate having to worry about it every single year.

Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta

I know we aren't completely living up to the standards of our diarrhea colored bovine neighbors down I-35, but my goodness. Somewhere, Tony Montana smiles.

He-Man Woman Haters Club

Like Eazy-E before him, Walter Bryant reached back like a pimp and he slapped the ho. The funniest part about this, it mentions that the woman is his wife... yet she doesn't live with him? What an arrangement! GP furthers the South Park community stance that domestic violence is OK, as long as there's no naughty language. Hey, at least he wasn't ripping off youngsters for their Xboxes.

Receiver arrested

Junior wideout Walter Bryant was arrested and charged Wednesday night with assault with bodily injury to a family member after Fort Worth police responded to a domestic disturbance between him and his wife.

The wife, who has a child with Bryant but does not live with him, said she went to visit him at his apartment and became angry when she discovered another woman there. Bryant accompanied his wife to the parking lot, where she said he slapped her in the face, arm and leg.

Bryant, 21, admitted to slapping his wife's leg after she put her hand in his face.

He was released from jail on $2,500 bail and played Saturday at Stanford."I have gathered all the facts, and at this point Walter is eligible to play," Gary Patterson said

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Phantom Pooper

Too Funny for a Joke,

Just Watch

Sippin' on some Sizuuurp.

In his weekly rankings, Stewart Mandel at Si has us sitting pretty at 43. Which is ahead of any other team in our conference. Like, other than BYU, we're way far ahead of everyone.

I think there's only one explanation for this scenario: Man's been nursin' summa dat purple draaank.

Over/Under 10 runs Boston vs Clevland

Any suggestions?

Another One

Brought to you by

Baptist Urine

I find two things interesting about this article:
1. Baylor is "considering" disciplinary action
2. The world's largest Baptist University hired a coach who played for Miami

Back from California

People from California are really, REALLY condescending when it comes to Texas. Everyone I met, upon learning I was from the Lone Star State, would respond with some variant of "Oh, man- do you LIKE living there?!?!" One of my cousin's friends actually told me he felt sorry for me having to live here. Right, because we're the state that elected a guy who starred alongside Sinbad in "Jingle All the Way" as governor...

I wasn't shy about pointing that out to the surprisingly large amount of "intellectual" Stanford fans that were talking weak, weak shit to me. Sure, you beat USC last week. Neat. USC sucks, though- they also almost lost to Washington. Furthermore, we beat them the last time we played them, too. They were selling T-shirts that said "Biggest Upset Ever" and spent a few minutes before the game and during halftime showing highlights from that game on the jumbo-tron. If it's really THAT big a deal to beat a team, you probably don't deserve to be in the same conference with them.

For the first half, I took a seat (along with my buddy Houston, a Stanford-hating Cal Bear fan) in a half-empty section behind the TCU bench. This was after buying a $9 ticket to a Pac-10 team's homecoming game- the kind of supply and demand ratio that clearly indicates your team should be in a BCS conference. Sitting amongst the few fans that were there, I quickly realized that, despite Stanford's lofty academic reputation, they have quite possibly the least-educated football fans in the country. One illustration of this was after the touchdown run by Dalton (which was an awesome play) was challenged, even though it was clearly a touchdown. The replay showed, as anyone with a brain could plainly see even in normal speed, that his knees were never down and the the ball was not only in the endzone, but actually knocked the pylon down from the inside. Even after the replay, which was shown in slow-motion about 10 times, the vast majority of Cardinal fans continued to boo and whine, claiming it was "the worst call ever". I was quick to point out to them not only how and why it was a touchdown, but also that their state produced the jury pool that acquitted OJ Simpson, so their opinions probably aren't valid.

The second half, I moved over to the TCU section. If you've never been to a TCU road game in a far away state, we actually travel pretty decently. That is, our fans over the age of 70 do-there was a solid contigent of 300 or so sporting purple. It was nice to watch the comeback in friendlier confines, and we actually got the blue-hairs to make some noise in the final few minutes.

When we were down 31-17, a Stanford fan that looked like Jimmy Clausen came over to us and told us that the game was "sooo over" and that we should probably get on our horses back to Texas. I wish I could say that my repetitive comebacks to him were better than just "Game's over, huh bud?"...but they weren't. It kind of broke my heart to see their faces, like Baylor or SMU fans realizing that they do, indeed, still suck. But not really.

My quick thoughts on the game as a whole- Our team has no quit in them whatsoever. As I've said the whole year, Dalton is going to have a phenomenal career at TCU-he's incredibly mature and poised for a freshman, if I may use some cliches. Also, as I've said time after time, when Joseph Turner is healthy, he's going to be awesome. He's also the perfect compliment to Aaron Brown, who continues to be the main fuel for this offense. Overall on offense, we still might not be the best unit in the nation, but we are clearly better than some of our early season performances. All of you impatient Schultz-haters that didn't get to watch this game on TV missed some really great play-calling and solid execution.

On defense, Chase Ortiz is just a beast. He was doubled the whole game, and still had two sacks. Stephen Hodge looked like Gator on Saturday. He doesn't just tackle people, he puts dents in their soul. Oh, and David Hawthorne is quitely our best defender this year- the guy just keeps making plays. The secondary had some iffy moments, but they tightened up in the second half. Most of the big plays were more about Stanford's QB and WRs making great plays than our coverage being blown. That QB they've got has a bright future ahead of him, as well.

After the game, we took the train back into San Francisco and went out with my cousin that lives there. To the girls I met out that night, I was either a professional lacrosse player (for the "Kansas City Force"), a professional rubix-cuber (I can do that shit with my feet), or on the waiting list for Astronaut Training (don't tell anyone, but they are looking at candidates about my age for a possible Mars mission). Sad thing is, I'm pretty sure about 75% of them believed me.

It was a fun trip, but I'm glad to be back. In the words of Biggie: "Cali- great place to visit"

YouTube Tuesday

Old one, but good one.

Monday, October 15, 2007

On The Mark

Mark Sclabach's weekly ESPN article

On The Mark
Lone Star State quarterbacks. A half-dozen quarterbacks from Texas schools combined to put up unbelievable numbers on Saturday. Texas' Colt McCoy, Texas Tech'sGraham Harrell continues to pile up impressive numbers at Texas Tech.
Lone Star State quarterbacks. A half-dozen quarterbacks from Texas schools combined to put up unbelievable numbers on Saturday. Texas' Colt McCoy, Texas Tech's Graham Harrell, TCU's Andy Dalton and UTEP's Trevor Vittatoe combined to complete 73 percent of their passes for 1,476 yards with 12 touchdowns...Dalton had 344 passing yards and two touchdowns on 23-for-34 passing in a 38-36 win at Stanford.

CBS bowl prediction

Armed Forces Dec. 31 Fort Worth ESPN Miami (Fla.)* vs. Texas Christian

Probably far-fetched, but it would be a fun one to see

Business Time

Well, it would certainly appear that my pregame prediction was incorrect once again, although at least this time it went in our favor. I wanted to doubt the Frogs. Hell, when we were down 31-17 I did doubt the Frogs. I mean, defense? Not so much. I had predicted an offensive struggle, and was obviously proven wrong. However, if it gets us a win, I'm perfectly ok with that. I understand Stanford's new QB isn't half bad, but good lord! We gave up more points in the first half this game than we had all season in first halves. What gives? Maybe we should all doubt our Frogs beforehand so that they come out with that same fire they came out with Saturday. Maybe they've been perusing Spit Blood?

First off I have to ask, where did this offense come from? I mean, we ran up more points on this team than USC, and they were playing at home. I realize that USC is heinously overrated, but, it's still something to think about. We'd take them.

That being said, at the beginning of the fourth, when we were down 31-24, I had no doubt that we were going to win. As well as Dalton, Brown, Turner, even Jimmy Young were doing, I knew there was no way we weren't going to put points on the board and, regardless of how they'd performed all game, there was no way our defense was going to let us go back down once we finally took the lead.

I listened to the game on the radio, while flipping through several other games on TV and texting pro Stephen Hodge/Henson messages with WWHD, so there's no way I can give an accurate wrap up, but I do know this. Joseph Turner. Know him. Fear Him. Talk to him at Snookies. Isn't it amazing what two quality backs will do for the team? Having Joseph Turner back gives us an entirely new dimension because when Brown is on the sidelines, they can't ignore the run game. Our seemingly anemic passing game, non-existent most of the season, absolutely ignited. Dalton threw for 340 and two TDs! Yikes! I knew he had it in him! After seeing what he did at the end of the Wyoming game, even in the loss, you could tell he's just starting to feel comfortable. Getting our backs involved in the pass game seemed to do us very well, and, although Jimmy Young's long reception could be due to blown coverage (like I said, I only heard it), it was the most exciting pass play we've had the entire season. Having our offense know what they're capable of is going to be an enormous boost the rest of the season. Yes, I was pessimistic last week, but I can realistically see us finishing 8-4 if we perform offensively at the level we did Saturday, and our defense decides to show up before the last drive. That will be more than positive considering where our season was a week ago.

Aww Yeah. That's right Horned Frogs. The game this week is Thursday night. And Thursday night is the night that we typically beat Utah. Saturday afternoon on the road is when we lose, but Thursday night is the night that we fight back into conference contention.

It's Busi-ness. It's business time! Ooooh beatin' Utah. Beatin' Utah for 60 minutes!


Unfortunately Thursday is the night that we typically lose conference games, but it didnt' work with the song.

That's all I got. Go Frogs.

Monday Night Pick

*** New York -4 vs Atlanta

Prediction: 24-13 Giants

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Let's Try the NFL

After a 2-4 day yesterday it's desperation Sunday where it's the only chance to win money until the middle of this week, unless you truly are a degenerate and bet on baseball. (guilty)

**** Philadelphia -4 @ New York Jets
*** Oakland/Denver und 44
** Cleveland -4 vs Miami

Luckily I was drunk enough last night to bet on K State -5.5, K State -3 1st Half Line and K State -1.5 2nd Half Line. I made 20 bets yesterday and when all was said and done I netted $13, what a great day.

You think I have a problem? My friend was down 400 to some bookie he's never spoken to, but I'm pretty sure has the capability of breaking knee caps. So he puts $200 on K State 1st half line, hits, and lets it ride on the second half line, hits, and now is in the black. Let's just say the K State game was intense.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Spit Blood's Picks

If you are a betting man then here are Spit Blood's picks for the weekend. I must start my handicapping career somewhere, and the only way to do that is to build a case by your super awesome winning percentage. Take the stars as units to alter how much you push on the games. If you are dumb enough to take my picks, don't yell at me when you are down half a paycheck.

***** Fresno State -9.5 @ Idaho
**** BYU -11 @ UNLV
**** Louisville/Cincinnatti ovr 66.5
*** Colorado State -3 vs Air Force
*** Memphis -3 vs Middle Tenn State
** Missouri +12 @ Oklahoma

Do it.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Two Game Notes from S-T

#1 Senior kicker Chris Manfredini is a semifinalist for the Draddy Trophy, awarded to a player who combines success in the classroom, on the field and in the community.

--wait, wait, doesn't it say ON the field? So, missing two game winning field goals off the upright counts as on the field performance? Must be a week year for candidates for the Draddy Trophy. Who's your Draddy? Hopefully not ManFred.

#2 Sophomore tailback Joseph Turner continues to practice after missing the past four games with a foot injury. Gary Patterson is hopeful Turner will be able to play at Stanford.

--Keep hearing big things about this kid, now we might finally get to see him play. This is good because when Brown is having a poor game (such as against Wyoming, although they were very good defensively) we can't expect Christian and Watts to carry the load. Hopefully this will give us a backup threat when Brown is out of the game.

I think it's funny that I refer to Turner as "this kid" even though I'm probably no more than 4 years older than he is. Maybe I really am turning into a cliche.

Here's to the TCU defense keeping the Stanford side of the scoreboard marked 0.

Win or Lose, Stanford's Mascot is still a Tree

Albeit a tree that doesn't fuck around. Is Superfrog making the trip? If so, go for the legs! Show that scrub shrub not to mess with a teenage mutant ninja Horned Frog with back tits!

Carville on the BCS

He may be a democrat, but he sure has a way with words.

"The BCS is like the electoral college--a convoluted way to pick a winner. The electoral college was a bad idea thought up by great men trying to do a noble thing. The BCS is a stupid idea thought up by intellectual midgets trying to protect greedy college presidents."
- James Carville

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Bud Light: Real Men of Genius

I hope this makes everybody's Friday. Go Frogs! It's time to send those Harvard wannabe hippies back down the smugness level they are used to!

Hopeless Notre Dame Fan
(It's great to know someone is worse off than us)

Mr. Jean Shorts Inventor

Mr. Cell Phone Holster Wearer

(This ones for the Finch himself who has admitted to clipping)

Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor

Mr. Way Too Proud of Texas Guy

Mr. Pro Sports Heckler Guy

I'm out this bitch

Wow. When the schedule came out, this game against Stanford looked like a nice, leisurely stroll up to beautiful Northern California to pound on a cellar-dwelling Pac 10 team. Then the Pac 10 got off to a good start. Then the Frogs got off to a bad start. Then Stanford beat freaking USC...what in the world? Now this game worries me...a lot. Just like every game left on the schedule.

I'm headed to DFW in a few minutes to catch my flight up to the Bay Area. I'll be sure to report back on all my findings. And yeah, I'll definitely put those Ivy-League wannabes in their place. If you remember, Zach Morriss actually got into Stanford.

Biggest Disappointment

I guess if you adhere to the old adage that any press is good press then this is a good thing. I suppose it is better to have expectations and fall short then to just know that you suck.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

FWST Mid-Season Report

Looks bleak. Best case scenario is Poinsettia Bowl, which at this point would be against Navy. I still say FW vs. a last place Pac-10 team is better.

Wyoming Game Story

This was posted on Killer Frogs. It shows part of the greatness of our program. We are in the midst of a shitty season, as seems to be our 3 year trend, but I will always be proud to be a frog.

My birthday was October 6. My son, who lives in Denver, found great airline rates From DFW to Denver and asked me to come up and we would drive to Laramie and watch my favorite team on my birthday. Sounded too good so I took him up on it. Most spontaneous thing I've ever done.
We drove with a few other Denver frogs to Laramie Saturday AM. We tailgated for a while and then made the trek to the stadium.
Tucked in the southwest corner of the stadium were about 200 loyalists dressed in purple.
We sat through 3 1/2 quarters of unbelievable horror. About midway through the 4th quarter, the wind shifted and a sudden chill filled the air. Wyoming scored on a pass play to a wide open receiver in the southeast end zone. I looked for some reason at the TCU bench and saw CGP bent over, hands on knees with his head down staring into the barren earth. I felt the same way as did, I'm sure, the other 199 or so TCU fans. I watched the extra point sail through the uprights that would soon grow so narrow.
I looked back at the bench and saw CGP seemingly calm talking to his defensive backs.
The next six minutes of game time showed me what a team we have. Instead of tucking tail and deciding that all was lost, our offense came alive and scored on a methodical drive. An incredibly clever 2 point conversion play was successful. The defense held and the Wyoming punter froze as if the cold air was meant specifically for him. We sack him and get the ball inside the 20! Instead of turning it over or sputtering to a halt or getting flagged for motion infractions, we took the ball and scored. We hold again and get the ball back with 56 seconds and two timeouts. We drive to down to questionable field goal range with 10 seconds to go. A time out is called and we decide to attempt one more play. A tremendous timing route succesfully resulted in a 10 yard gain. The 47-48yard filed goal attempt hits the right upright and the game is lost. Right??---------Wrong.
The 200 loyalists stayed for 60 minutes. But CGP and the team don't go to the locker room. Instead CGP brings the team over to our little group as a spontaneous cheer of T_C_U, T_C_U, T_C_U goes up. The team without band begins singing the TCU alma mater and the TCU contingent chimes in. The final stanza of T_C_U made my hair stand on end.
We didn't score the most points Saturday but we had the most guts, class, spirit and pride. CGP is at the top and gets the blame for the losses and a lot of credit for the success on the point system. But what he showed me at the end of that game Saturday meant the most to me. I was reminded of a similar show of class after the crushing defeat at Air Force when before allowing the team to retire to the locker room, we stood at attention to hear the Air Force alma mater.
Would I ever love to be 4-2 but, honestly, if I had to trade that loss for a loss of integrity at the top, I'd hit that upright every time. We know he has the ability to coach, recruit, yell, scream, sing and play guitar and now I know what kind of winner we have. I am not good at predicitions but that upright may be the turning point in our season.
I had a very happy birthday.

Game... Whatever: Stanford

History: Stanford just beat USC, the then #1 team in the country, in the Coliseum, in front of, like, eleventy billion fans. Did I mention they did this with a backup QB whose name I'm pretty sure I can't spell or pronounce?

TCU just lost to Wyoming. Our conference hopes are completely destroyed and we will probably lose 2/4 between UNM, UNLV, Utah and BYU. God Bless You, SDSU.

We can't win on the road. Our kicker has balls the size of that kid from Simon Birch. Our offensive line is uninspiring at best. We can't figure out which QB to use in what situation until it's too late (and that's just me accepting the fact that we're going to use the dreaded two-headed QB, so I won't even go into my thoughts on that.) Our defense couldn't stop the run if the other team lined up that guy from Road Trip that boinked the fat girl, although I'll attribute this to being tired because our offense refuses to stay on the field.

So, that spat of optimism leads me to assume the final score will be somewhere in the vicinity of 21-4. Our two points will be the result of botched punt snaps.

Logically? Vegas is giving Stanford 5.5 last I heard. Aside from Stanford's 37th ranking in passing yards, neither team ranks above 74th in ANY offensive category. TCUs rankings in Total Yards/Rushing Yards/Passing Yard/Points Scored looks like this: 92/75/97/99. See for yourself:

TCU, already the most boring offensive team in the game, meets a pretty good runner up in this category. Get ready for some action packed Horned Frogs Football!!!!

I'm taking the Cardinal.